Skip to main content

Rink Rage: letting go and seeing the game through the eyes of child

Shoot, Shot, SHOOOOOOOTTTTTTT! Good God what’s wrong with that kid! Ah the refrains of an educated and understanding hockey parent! Or, maybe not. 

I have been away for a bit. Couldn’t play hockey because I have been sick for the past 6 weeks. The time off got the grey cells working, regarding the state of parenting in youth sports, mostly hockey, but really you can plug in any support specific nuance into this narrative.  

I love this game at every level and the experience that this great game provides for kids, adults and fans. As a kid it teaches humility, teamwork, discipline and too many other great qualities to list here. As an adult returning to the game it taught me all of those as well as enabling me to view life through the lens of a kid. Trust me, my goals now are to be semi-proficient for the 50+ league, not to be the next Bossy. Working with beginners and having a daughter playing has been an interesting experience, that has opened my eyes to the seedy underbelly of rivalry, unrealistic parental expectations and intensity from opposing fans (ie; Parents)

Let me start by saying this. WHAT THE HECK is wrong with hockey parents? I played as a kid, took a break and play now. As a kid, I chalked up the intensity to the bar at most rinks and the amount of beer that was around in the 70’s and the love of a good brawl at professional games. It was woven into the fabric of my hockey journey. I can’t tell you how many games I was carted home by a well-meaning mom or dad that had just a few moments before looked like a slobbering beast of intensity, but it was fed by drink, not over expectations of the child. It was seemingly a more innocent time.

First, for those that haven’t played the game, it is expensive. No really, cripplingly so. Ice time, refs, hotels, gear, replacing gear, pressure to have the best gear is a multi billion-dollar industry. So, parents I get it! But expecting your kid to be the next Crosby or Hillary Knight is a farce. Honestly you stand a much, much better chance, statistically speaking, of death by a Pickachu stuffy hurled from a moving car, causing decapitation. Don’t get me wrong, I want what’s best for all kids, but I don’t think that the professionalization of youth sports is what’s best.

With the removal of drink from the equation, people just need to chill out. Take a breath and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Hey, entitled mom, quit telling me how your kid was knocked down because my kid ran into her. Have you spent any time with a weapon/tool in your hands on a frozen surface, holding on by a knife edge strapped to your feet? No, then grab some wood! Siddown! You are on a time out. 

Stuff happens at an alarmingly quick rate out there on the other side of the boards. Oh, and by the by, not because she’s my daughter, but because stuff happens so fast, your daughter’s teammate unintentionally slew-footed your daughter. So, quit interrupting my conversation with other parents to reassert your viewpoint. Too much coffee? Please take your rink rage and get a therapist. Our kids are 9! NINE! So, get a grip, set an example and quit banging on the glass.

Save that for the pros and I’ll be right by your side! If the Isles are playing the Rangers, it’ll always be the fault of the Rangers ,and the refs will always be against us.


But for now, revel in the kid that can’t hold his stick correctly, but still has an ear to ear grin or the girl that has ankles that look like right angles, but plays with the heart of a lion, or the goalie that misses the shot from the blue line because he’s waving to his parents. Because he’s finally wearing all of that gear. Expertise will come, let them enjoy the game for what it is, the best game that you can name.  Take care, be well and enjoy life. See you soon!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The girl with the flames on her skates and ladies that tap dance

How many of us dreamt of becoming sports heroes? I was going to be the next Wayne Gretzky, no really. For those of us that are of the male persuasion, our icons were and are everywhere. This was true even in the 1970's and 80's, a time when hockey had a much smaller market share in the US. It is only recently that female athletes have  professionals to emulate and idolize. Though the coverage can use a lot of work, it's growing and that is a story and discussion that I will delve into at a later date.   As adults, most of us have given up on our dreams of becoming sports stars and find inspiration in other places or people. As I begin my journey returning to a sport that I love I have found inspiration in so many places that I could not have dreamt of as kid. Two of those that inspired my return to hockey, are these. One is completely unrelated to hockey and one is a rank hockey beginner. I have found inspiration from them and they all exhibit "shoshin" in
Post a Comment
Read more

Thoughts and Musings on the hockey community

  Hey there readers and members of the hockey family. It has been a long time since I have posted here. In part because my ramblings here lead to a great journey in the field of hockey writing. It have written before about the fantastic and welcoming hockey community that we belong to and the past year has done a lot to reinforce that opinion. I have been able to realize some of my dreams and begin writing in earnest about hockey and continue to do so for a number of outlets. As is the case when we have too many competing interests this blog was left on the virtual shelf, like an unfinished journal to gather dust. I will make sure to update this blog at least 2 monthly to share my story. With that, lets get the blog proper started, shall we? I was struck by this photo or Soviet Cosmonaut and hockey player Yuri Gagarin. His smile is infections and is one that we see repeated on rinks everywhere. You can see this in any rink at any time. That set me about reflection on appreciatin
Post a Comment
Read more

The Hockey Community - a great tribe in the face of great tragedy

This weekend one of our coaches put on the ice her project of the last 9-10 months. Making history in the process. She put on the ice the first female hockey league in the state. She worked tirelessly and positively to make a difference in the lives of our players, parents and coaches. It was truly a magnificent thing to watch. She and her husband are the primary on ice coaches for the Beginner's program and some of our 10U teams. They inspire us with their positivity, respect and evenhandedness, even when under pressure.  I spent many minutes in conversation with parents, grandparents and guardians cementing that thought. It was truly an amazing thing to see the efforts make such a difference. All of the players came off of the ice with smiles on their faces. The scores were even, every girl got a touch on the puck at some point.  This got the "little grey cells" as Hercule Poirot says, working on this tribe to which as hockey players and fans belong. I count
Post a Comment
Read more